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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

“Can you direct me to a job?”

Nile T.V. isn’t strong on irony. Certainly not the intentional kind. “Israeli tanks today entered Palestinian towns in the Occupied Territories inthe third day of what Israeli prime minister Ariel Sharon called measures to combat terror… Prime Minister Atef Ebeid told the People’s Assembly, Egypt’s parliament, that economic indicators for the third quarter indicated growth in a number of key sectors,” the newscasters intone – often in a wonky, New England-meets-New Maadi accent.

So I was surprised to see a new show late one night on the state-run English-language (and French… and Hebrew… and Hebrew) channel that seemed to be all about Egyptians making fun of themselves.

To begin with, a skit about asking for directions: A young ne’r-do-well, slouched against a street sign smoking a cigarette, is approached by a man in a suit carrying a briefcase. “Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Ismail Bek Aboul Fotouh Street?” the man asks.

“Of course… Ismail Bek Aboul Fotouh…let me see…”

The blue and white sign at the top of the pole expands surreally to show that they are, in fact, standing on Ismail Bek Aboul Fotouh.

“It’s near Ahmed Amin Street,” the man asking the question adds helpfully.

“Yes, of course… What street were you looking for?”

The exchange carries on for a couple of minutes, until the man moves along and tries someone else.

This time it’s a rich kid with a mobile phone glued to his ear, who proceeds to question him about where he’s from – Sakakini – and why he needs to go to Ismail Bek Aboul Fotouh Street. The reason is a job interview.

It was all fairly obvious stuff, despite the surprising sketch-comedy format. But then it got interesting.

The show’s host, Khaled Habib – known for call-in programs on Radio Cairo International – appears in a white-blond wig looking like an Alexandrian Ted Koppel and begins reading the news: “Egyptian officials today announced that 500,000 new jobs have been created in Egypt in 2002.” Keeping up the Nile TV newscaster voice, he continues: “The same number of jobs has been created in Egypt every year for the past 19 years. This means there can be no unemployment in Egypt… No way, no unemployment at all… Not in Egypt.”

The program is called Patagonya Network, and the episode I saw had a common, if unstated, theme throughout: the frustrated humanity that comprises Egypt’s “rich pool of human resources.” (Another sketch shows a character called Ghazieh Mansour Marzouk entering the lottery year after year for a visa to “The Land of Dreams.” He ends up, by 2003, “doing great” where he is, serving hot cups of tea to applicants outside the embassy.)

Maybe, like Al-Ahram Weekly, Nile TV can take advantage of its foreign-language format to deal with social issues in a subversive, questioning way. But just like creating jobs, improving the state media must happen in small steps. It requires new injections of infrastructure, and lots of patience among the public.

During Patagonya Network’s call-in segment, I decided to phone the number on the screen and ask Khaled Habib where he got his “500,000 jobs” statistic. I dialed the number; I let it ring at least 20 times; I made five attempts in total. The phone was never answered.

Neil MacDonald

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